The Ultimate C*#k Block

There are those occasions when you are talking to a man/woman and you get completely side-swiped by someone who interjects in the middle of a conversation, or what have you, and either ruins the moment or ends up turning the conversation towards him/her.

That my friend, is a classic cock-block.

Lets define this word shall we? It’s could be the case that you are a female, talking to a handsome bloke, when a stranger or friend decides to get in the way. She then has BLOCKED the potential possession of…yes, that’s right, cock.

It could also be the case that you are a fly guy, mackin’ on a sultry goddess, when a friend or stranger decides to destroy the mood or try and steal your spotlight. He therefore has BLOCKED your attempts at making moves, or what have you. He is therefore referred to as a COCK who has just BLOCKED you. However, this scenario could also have been interpreted as your own COCK being BLOCKED from whatever un-chaste activity you were hoping to pursue.

Now that we are on the same page as to what can constitute cock-blocking, let’s put a real life scenario on the table.

So I was in the back room, in my boss’ office, talking to this girl from Apple about their promotions for us employees and this girl was pretty cute, very soft spoken, but very intelligent. But whatever, it was professional and I was asking questions and what not, then here comes this co-worker of mine, who thinks literally every girl wants him (sounds like someone else I know…) which is very laughable if you’ve seen/met him. He walks by and sees this girl I’m talking to and stops dead, turns and starts making fun of how I never hit my goals and how I wont win this contest we are having, blah blah, typical insecurity.

This girl is like “what the hell is he talking about?” and I casually reply to this guy and I’m like, “listen, we are having a professional conversation here buddy, would you like to join?” He then continues to say how I wouldn’t know what professional looks like or whatever, so this girl finally turns to me and says “Hey Hoodean, here is my card, let me have yours and we’ll keep in touch.” Dumbfounded as she leaves the store, this guy says to me in a tone of near desperation “Look dummy, you scared her off.” I very loudly chuckled and retorted, “Hey man, in the end, I have her number and you don’t.”

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when a cock-block fails horribly.